I am a creature of habit. Nothing special about that—we all are, are we not?
That’s not to say that we keep the same habits. Each of us has our own little rituals and routines that are not practiced by anyone else. We may all share some of the basic human functions and do them in comparable ways at comparable times. But we also have our little idiosyncracies that are ours alone. In fact, we wonder if others knew why we did what we do, if we would be labeled as ‘strange’ or ‘odd.’ Even those terms are not universally accepted—I, myself, prefer ‘peculiar.’
I’m not going to go into detail about all my ‘peculiarities’—that would take too long! Truth be told, I would have a hard time remembering how such things got started. So let’s leave that aside, shall we? How I make and eat a peanut butter and jelly (actually jam) sandwich is not an important matter, although I know I’m doing it the right way while others are merely throwing such thing together. My preferences for particular knots would leave most folks shaking their heads. The list goes on, but then I would have to explain the way that I make and keep lists. But I digress.
No, what’s on my mind these days is the force of habits that I have had and the newly entered vaccum in which those are changing.
Retirement is a major life change. So I’m not working on the same morning schedule, and I’m not keeping the same kind of calendar. I’m not feeling the flow of connections and tasks that kept me in days past. I am not investing my time in the same places. Yes, this is major. It affects each and every day.
I’ve told folks that it is going to take a bunch of Saturdays, Sundays, and weekends for me to get the hang of this. Those days and times have been the biggest part of my ‘working week’ for a long time. The notion that I do not have to work on them is almost confusing. I always spent Saturdays prepping for Sundays. I always rose early on Sundays to get ready for the tasks of the day. I always somewhat envied everyone else who could stay up to watch a late sporting event, or maybe head out to the lake for a few days of leisure. Everybody’s working for the weekend was not in my mindset. For me it was pretty much I’m going to be working this weekend—again and again and again.
So a friend asked about when we could get together for a cup of coffee. I turned to the week after next in my planner. There was not one thing written down! No meetings, no appointments, no commitments! I do not remember a time when that was ever the case. My calendar has always been fairly full. I have rarely missed an appointment for anything.
I was struck this week when I opened my digital calendar looking for a piece of information and suddenly realized I had a 10:00am appointment that had completely slipped my mind. It was not written down on paper where I would have expected it. It was certainly not impressed upon my memory. Surprising. I managed to shift things around a bit and get there on time, but it was a bit troubling. For a moment there I thought I was losing it. Actually more like ‘I didn’t really have the day together!’
I’m not sure that I’m succeeding at being a man of leisure. I am in need of reevaluating my habits and seeing what needs to change going forward. I recognize that I am in a position for real change to happen, for new patterns to emerge, for new habits to be formed. That is a unique situation.
Most of us are caught in the day to day of whatever habits we’ve adopted or whatever patterns have been put upon us by family, work, school, and social expectations. We have set up a constant stream of cues to get what needs to be done when it needs to happen. Alarm clocks and phone alarms and timers all chirp through the day to keep us ‘on track.’
But what if they weren’t there? What if there was no need to have an alarm clock? What if meals could simply be ‘as needed’? What if there was no one relying on you to have things ready at a particular time? Wouldn’t that be peculiar?
Indeed, I am more keenly aware of this condition as the days come and go. I have arrived at a time when I can pick and choose my patterns more intentionally. I have arrived at a place in which there are fewer things that clamor for my attention and efforts. I am out of the habit for some things and working on new habits.
So what habits am I going to develop in this new space? Well, I’m walking at least twice a day—morning and evening, typically half-an-hour and about 1.5 miles—to stay healthy. I’m trying to develop a more consistent writing routine—as you’ve hopefully seen if you’re reading this. I’m still cooking on a daily basis which takes care of myself and others.
I am also very much aware right now that I have a chance to change! Much of life is lived by default, by the demands of the systems in which we live. But in these past few weeks I’m coming to see the rare opportunity that is before me. There are some habits, in fact, that I should be ‘out of.’ There are others that I should be ‘in to.’ Honestly, it feels a bit peculiar!
Character in the Making 